Back-to-school stress is a normal occurrence for most children. However, children and adolescents have also been through an extremely difficult year due to the coronavirus outbreak which has led to increased anxiety and stress. Here are some tips to help your child or teen manage some of the changes they will encounter this year and the complicated emotions they will face now that they are back at school.
Watch & Listen
Although most adults know when they are feeling anxious, it can be hard for a child or teen to recognize this emotion in themselves. It is important that as a parent you learn to recognize and watch out for the non-verbal signs of stress in children and teens. Some common signs include difficulty sleeping, physical symptoms (like headaches and stomach aches), or changes in behavior (such as irritability and temper tantrums). It is important to allow children and teens the space to discuss their emotions in a non-judgmental and validating space. The second step is to listen to what your child has to say or casually prompt conversations around the topic in a safe and non-pressure environment (e.g., over supper).
Promote self-care & practice relaxation activities
Self-care is an important part of wellness. Encourage your child to engage in activities that promote self-care and relaxation on a daily basis. Its important to note that sometimes children may need to take time to discover what activities help them feel good and recharge. So, encourage them to try a variety of activities. Some self-care activity examples include; writing in a journal, coloring/drawing, taking space to listen/dance to music, meditation, watching a movie or reading a book, and keeping active. Relaxation exercises that are important to promote include; deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, or grounding exercises. You can find many guided relaxation activities online or through mobile applications. And don’t forget! Parents need self-care too! Make sure to also engage in your own self-care activities.
Avoid second-hand anxiety
Children and teens are extremely in sync with their parents’ well-being. If you are anxious and make a lot of statements of worry, then most likely your child will pick-up on that anxiety and emulate it. Its important that parents have a space to express their worries and vent but try as much as possible to do so behind closed doors.
Validate emotions
This is a difficult time for everyone. Its important to have conversations with your child about their emotions, encourage a space for them to talk, and ask specific questions about their feelings around starting school. For example; you can ask a younger child what they miss/don’t miss about being in school? What they are worried about/excited about in going back to school? You can provide younger children with a fun activity, like coloring, to introduce the topic and keep the conversation flowing. Its also important that when your child or teen is talking about their emotions you don’t go into “problem-solving” mode right away. First step is always to validate how they are feeling. For example, “I can see that you’re feeling X, that’s normal. It’s a difficult time right now.” Help your child with labeling their emotions if you see they are having a hard time identifying how they feel. Finally, try to avoid minimizing how they are feeling (e.g., “just tough it out”), but validate that what they are experiencing is normal in the given situation (e.g., “It’s normal to feel upset when our whole routine is changed, many people are feeling the same way right now”).
Keep a routine
Although school protocols and procedures (as well as province and country protocols and procedures) may feel like they are constantly changing, it helps to gain some resemblance of normalcy by controlling the aspects one can control. A routine can help in providing this sense of normalcy. Children (and adults!) thrive with a consistent schedule. Before school begins, plan the weekly morning and afternoon routines with your children. When children know what is expected of them it helps decrease stress. It can also be a good idea to take time each weekend to plan the week ahead with your child, this teaches them time management skills and allows them to know what to expect including the time available for their own self-care activities.
Maintain a regular sleep schedule
Sleep is essential for many reasons including managing stress, anxiety, and promoting general psychological well-being. Some simple and important sleep hygiene strategies include, keeping a consistent sleep schedule (wake-up and bedtime), schedule your “ideal” amount of sleep hours, limit napping (especially late in the afternoon), reduce electronic use at least 1-2 hours before bed, make the bed a sleep-only zone (i.e., no homework done in bed!), develop a relaxing bedtime routine that can be followed each night, and avoid substances that can interfere with sleep (e.g., caffeinated drinks and foods).
Set house rules around screen time
Since the beginning of the pandemic the use of electronic devices in the daily lives of your child or adolescent has grown exponentially and many children and teens are experiencing difficulties disconnecting from their devices. This has had a significant impact on their behaviors, emotions, and attitudes. Every parents needs to decide what works for your family but having house rules for how much screen time occurs nightly is essential. Some examples include setting specific screen-free times (e.g., no screens at the dinner table) or not allowing screens in their rooms overnight. It is important that children and adolescents find a balance between screen time and other important aspects in their life such as engaging in hobbies and spending time with family.
If your child is experience very high levels of stress or anxiety you can also seek professional services which are available in both the private and public sectors.
For a list of psychologists in your area consult the order of psychologists at: https://www.ordrepsy.qc.ca/
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